1. |
Winter
01:29
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2. |
I Wish I'd Die
02:30
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I wish I'd die
Or settle down
Far away in some rotten town
I wish I'd scream
Instead of leave
Everyone who cared for me
Without you
It'd be all over
Without you
I wish I'd die
Or settle down
Far away in some unknown town
I wish I'd bleed
Instead of dream
Of a world all built for me
I wish I'd died
Instead of lived
And made up for all my sins
And so I grieve
For memories
That can't come back outside of sleep
Cause without you
It'd be all over
Without you
Cause without you
It'd be all over the walls and the floor
Without you
I wish I'd die
I'd only lived
For myself in selfishness
I wish that rain
Could wash me away
But that's not enough, I still remain.
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3. |
The Painter
03:39
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You looked so pretty
Underneath your sky
All painted gold and white
But you don't see me
Stealing your supplies
One color at a time
Paint the world the way you wish
All with your rose colored tint
Whether it be black or white
Just color what keeps you alive
Do you pity me?
Or just not realize
I'm graying out your skies
Paint the world all free of sin
And free yourself out from your skin
Color me a pretty mask
And bury all the hollow facts
Color me a poison mask
To hide the ugliness and fat
Color me under the ground
Cause I can only bring you down.
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4. |
Ruby
05:27
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Paper mache and video games
Take me far away
I'm on the verge of tears and suicide
Almost every day but it's okay
I've been falling down a spiral of apathy
Slowly for a while
Each and every time that I get out of bed
I try to force a smile for you
I know it's not happening
But I still try
And I'll make up everything
In time
Your lowest expectations were still far too much
For my hollow heart and I
Time after time, I make dumb mistakes
And I still wonder why you gave up
I know it's not happening
But I still try
And I know I lost something
So I'll just hide
Sitting and waiting for someone else to fix me
Knowing I let loose the monsters that follow me
Reflections of corpses in mirrors that once showed love
And rubies make beautiful jewelry for skeletons
And I know
That it wasn't your fault
Denial
Is stronger in smaller parts
And I know
It's not inexcusable
But I feel
Like nothing is doable
In a hole filled up with broken hearts
But there's hope, cause somehow we got this far.
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5. |
We used to be friends
04:08
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My bed is my fortress
I'm staying inside
Ignoring the world and wasting my life
I won't get a job, I'm drowning in fear
I'm moving out in a year
I'm too old to grow up
And too young to care
I used to be special
I used to be kind
I used to be someone that I wouldn't mind
So now I sit here, moan and complain
That nothing will go my way
I know I'm just lazy
That don't mean I'll change
Don't look at me
This isn't my face
I'm growing unwanted
Least that's how it seems
I'm forgetting how to say what I mean
I'm staying up late, I'll stay til' the end
When there's no wounds left to mend
Words used to mean something
We used to be friends
Just look at me
This isn't my face
Your trust in me
Is being misplaced
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6. |
untitled
04:28
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Hey there
I've been waiting for you
Hang in there
I know the thoughts you're having, I have them too
it's not okay
But it'll be okay
This life isn't right to you
Just give it time
I'll give you time
By yourself til' you know what to do
You're stuck in grief
But you're in one piece
Hey, that's better than some can say
It's not forever
Not at all
Don't get caught up, get up another day
It's not the same
But there's room for change
Maybe it's for the better after all
My face is numb
And I feel so dumb
But I have to do this, do something for you
Cause after all
When you fall
You have to get up eventually
I'm not okay
But I'll be okay
Just trust me, you'll move on and live again
So wake up kid
You're not a kid
You've got people who care so much for you
Don't let them down
Don't let them down
Don't let them down, you'll be okay
I let you down
I let you down
I let you down, I can't do it again
I let you down
I let you down
I let you down, I can't do it again
I let you down
I let you down
I let you down, I can't do it again
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7. |
Preteen Suicide
03:25
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Seeing you
Brings a smile to my face
I hope that you
Can smile the same way again
It's all a big mistake
This feeling's been erased
I'm filling up our grave
It's running out of space
I wish I could
Go back in time
If I would
Maybe I could save you
It's all a big mistake
This feeling's been erased
I'm filling up our grave
It's running out of space
It's all a big mistake
This feeling's been erased
I'm digging up our grave
It's running out of space
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8. |
Who?
04:32
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Who am I to judge?
All I do is mess things up
I can't see
And I can't breathe
What have I become?
Dead and too cold to touch
I can't speak
And I can't eat
I can't need you
I can't feel you
Cause I can't handle myself
Who are we to you?
And will that remain in a year or two?
I can't sleep
And I can't breathe
I can't need you
I can't feel you
Cause I can't handle myself
I can't need you
I can't feel you
Cause I can't handle myself
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9. |
A Conversation With God
02:08
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Take my life and I'll take your's
Take my heart and I'll keep searching
To find a way to break these chains
We've come too far to turn away
Don't give up yet, it's not the end
And I don't want to lose you again
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10. |
The Mountain
04:37
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Cut me until I'm perfect
Kiss me until I'm red
Lock me in my bedroom
Until I am dead
Kick me when I'm down
Push me off the edge
Whisper little lies
Til' I forget what you said
Bring me to the mountain
Come with me to the top
Leave me alone at the summit
And let me drown in my thoughts
No one's fault but mine
That you and I
Are lonely and cold for
What feels like the rest of time
Hold me until I'm broken
Indulge me until the end
Crush the chains that hold
Me inside of my head
Kick me when I'm down
Push me off the edge
Whisper little lies
Until I forget what I did
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11. |
Lower Lower
05:06
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If you aren't alive when I wake up
I'll pretend that I'm still asleep
Lower and lower you're sinking
I don't know if I want to believe
You built me a fortress to sleep in
And threw yourself right into the bleak
Your eyes cut a path through the darkness
You're following wherever it leads
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Hunter Hicks recommends:
The heaviest thing ever recorded.
go to album
the Glow pt. 2
by the Microphones
My favorite album of all time. I would recommend it to anyone.
go to album
I have never looked up to someone like I have to Ruby. I would never be where I am without her.
go to albumIf you like Hunter Hicks, you may also like:
Delicate, plangent singer-songwriter material that feels like its petals could fall at any moment.
go to album
Introspective, homespun folk tunes from John Donne that feel informed by the sugary bleakness of '80s and '90s indie pop.
go to album
Once Upon A Time In Montréal
by Murray A. Lightburn
The folk artist explores grief through these smooth and soulful tracks.
go to album
